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Post by Paroxysm on Oct 16, 2014 22:51:00 GMT -5
Carson simply kept looking at her. Ash decided that someone needed to do something, so she slowly took the doorhandle and closed the door behind them.
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Post by |0+u$ f@ɳԍ on Oct 16, 2014 23:02:07 GMT -5
Finally, Allison broke the silence. "Let's to to the living room," she said shortly. Her hands, Aleenya saw, were shaking. And her face was pale.
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Post by Paroxysm on Oct 16, 2014 23:03:46 GMT -5
Carson nodded, and began to head towards the room. When they got there, he sat beside Allison, wringing his hands, which had turned very white.
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Post by |0+u$ f@ɳԍ on Oct 16, 2014 23:10:12 GMT -5
Aleenya hesitated before sitting down. Of all the things to look at, she found herself drawn to all the pictures: of her parents, of Allie, of people she didn't know. Even of her-- mostly in childhood, but there was one that looked very distinctly like a newspaper clipping...
Allison forced a smile. "It is... good to see you," she said, and she didn't sound like she was lying. "It's been a long, long time."
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Post by Paroxysm on Oct 16, 2014 23:36:07 GMT -5
"What did you want to say?" Carson asked without forewarning. He looked like he was sweating.
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Post by |0+u$ f@ɳԍ on Oct 16, 2014 23:38:21 GMT -5
Aleenya looked down at her hands and traced a finger across her jeans. "It wasn't your fault." She had meant to speak loud and clear and dignified, but it came out as a sort of muted whisper. She cleared her throat. "Who I... who I became, I mean."
Allison frowned but didn't answer right away. She was still staring unblinkingly at her daughter.
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Post by Paroxysm on Oct 16, 2014 23:42:05 GMT -5
Carson's whisper was broken and barely audible. "What..?"
Ash looked at Aleenya with a bittersweet smile behind her eyes. She wished her presence could be enough to help Aleenya through this.
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Post by |0+u$ f@ɳԍ on Oct 16, 2014 23:56:25 GMT -5
"Last time I came here, I blamed you for... for a lot. For too much. But I was wrong, I think. You did try to be good parents, and you were for Allie. It's not a blame thing, is it?"
"Aleenya," Allison said, and Aleenya looked up and met her gaze. "Did you kill Allie? I need to hear it from you. Did you?" Her voice broke.
Aleenya stared at her blankly for a moment, and then said, "Yes."
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Post by Paroxysm on Oct 17, 2014 0:00:07 GMT -5
Carson's forehead fell to his clasped hands with a deflated grimace.
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Post by |0+u$ f@ɳԍ on Oct 17, 2014 0:03:28 GMT -5
There were several things Aleenya wanted to say but didn't. How Allie's death was really, in a way, the reason she was even here, admitting she'd been wrong. That Allie was the one who had put her in Arkham. But those things... those things were not what her parents wanted-- needed, even-- to hear right now.
"Why?" Allison asked. Still toneless, still staring straight at Aleenya.
Aleenya looked helplessly at Ash.
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Post by Paroxysm on Oct 17, 2014 0:15:20 GMT -5
Ash bit her lip, and decided to speak, taking Aleenya's hand carefully. The first half of a second was shaky, but she forced herself to sit straighter, to be certain, so she could help Aleenya. "I-" she cleared her throat. "Allie got on my bad side during a time where I was not emotionally stable," she admitted to them. "I met Aleenya during that time." She paused, needing to look at the wall behind the two, rather than deal with them watching. "Everything I did at that time was to get to Allie. Aleenya helped me through a lot during that, but.." she subconsiously began rubbing her fingers together, even while trying to hold onto Aleenya's hand. ".. I don't think I really helped her at all."
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Post by |0+u$ f@ɳԍ on Oct 22, 2014 19:47:01 GMT -5
Aleenya was about to argue when Allison said, "You tried to help her. How?" There was still something fierce, almost businesslike, about the way she spoke.
Ash's eyebrows furrowed a bit when she glanced at Allison. "I mean.. I invited her to live with me, but otherwise.. during that time I was very selfish. I didn't.. I didn't even consider the pain that Allie's death brought her at the time. I just felt angry that I hadn't been the one to do it." She looked at Allison. "I'm not telling you I helped. I'm telling you that I made it worse. And I'm sorry."
Carson had a furious glint in his eyes, remembering what happened when he accused Ash last time.
Before he could speak Aleenya said, "No. No, that isn't true." She thought of the night when she'd stood in that park with a gun to her own head. "Ash is the reason I'm still here. She's the reason..." She debated as to whether she actually wanted to voice what she'd been about to say.
"I'm the only reason you had to deal with Crane's torture," Ash rebutted, looking at her hands. "And I let him in the house afterwards, and he did it again. Now he's back. I honestly think I should have let him freeze to death or rot in prison. And that doesn't even start with how badly I've been helping with all of.. this," she gestured towards her parents, without looking at them.
"No, it's not that," Aleenya said, a little absently. She braced herself, though she wasn't sure why, and looked at the wall between her parents. "I've decided not to kill anyone again." She avoided looking at Ash.
For one bizarre moment she imagined her teenage self saying this to Allie. She pushed the thought aside.
Ash looked at Aleenya in interest.
"What?" Carson finally asked her.
"To not... You heard me." She should have felt something other than embarrassment.
"Can I believe you?" Allison asked cautiously.
"Should we?" Carson murmured, low enough to be hard to hear.
Allison reached over to him and rested a hand on his knee.
"Or at least I'll do my best," Aleenya said. "You can't understand what... It was almost an addiction. However that sounds..."
"I'm not sure we should be proud that this is a step," Carson commented.
Allison frowned. "I think it's better than if it wasn't a step," she pointed out.
Carson just nodded silently. Ash held Aleenya's hand a little tighter.
"I can go," Aleenya said quickly. "I've said what I wanted to say.
Allison glanced at Carson again. "Do you want a tour of the house?"
Ash held her smile back, and Carson finally took Allison's hand as well.
Finally a smile cracked across Aleenya's face. "Sure." She stood up and kept a tight grip on Ash's hand.
Ash.. followed? Carson remained seated, but didn't look like he was in as much pain.
"Can I see my room?" Aleenya asked softly.
"Sure," Allison said, and led the way.
"It's still yours?" Ash asked her quietly.
Aleenya blushed. "I mean, what was my room, anyway," she mumbled.
"I mean, we'll see," Ash said. "I was just impressed."
Allison glanced back at them. "Allie lived there her last couple years of high school. Now it's my studio... I've been doing a lot of painting the last several years."
"You're a painter?" Ash asked her.
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Post by |0+u$ f@ɳԍ on Oct 22, 2014 19:48:31 GMT -5
"No," Aleenya interjected. "I mean, she wasn't. When I knew her."
Allison looked at her, a little frown on her face. "I wasn't a lot of things when I knew you," she said shortly. She led the way up the stairs-- Aleenya's room had been on the third floor.
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Post by Paroxysm on Oct 22, 2014 19:52:18 GMT -5
Ash didn't say anything as they ascended. She wasn't sure there was much she could say that would make any of this easier.
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Post by |0+u$ f@ɳԍ on Oct 22, 2014 19:58:46 GMT -5
Finally, they reached the top landing. Allison walked down the hall to a heavy wooden door and pulled it open, gesturing her daughter to go ahead.
When Aleenya stepped in the room she could only stand there for a moment, blocking the doorway.
The paintings were of faces. Her face, and Allie's.
It seemed that her parents had redone this room. It had been carpeted when it was hers, and the walls were covered with posters, pictures, poems, and bookshelves. She'd had quite the collection of CDs... But now all of that was gone. Instead, the floor was a dark, shiny wood, covered only by the window where her mother painted. There was an easel there, now, and something half-finished.
She stepped towards the one nearest her. It was her, not as a child but now, who knew what Allison had based it on. Her face was blue, and there was a smudged quality about it.
She looked at Ash and slowly shook her head.
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